I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Randomize
