And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
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