If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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