All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
