ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
