Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize