this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize