I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
