AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
