Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
