Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
