But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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