Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
