I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
