he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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