Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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