grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Randomize
