if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
