so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Randomize
