So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
