Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
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