Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
