you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize