the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
