I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I can't turn off my feet"
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
Randomize
