Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
