yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
How external is "for external use only"?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
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