Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (716): I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me http://tfl.nu/kh9w
  Replies (11) Good night (724) Bad night (4403)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (951): This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago. http://tfl.nu/53yc
  Replies (6) Good night (874) Bad night (4122)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (203): I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night? http://tfl.nu/u6ad
  Replies (6) Good night (5378) Bad night (1433)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa. http://tfl.nu/wm5o
  Replies (3) Good night (2192) Bad night (1029)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (770): If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them. http://tfl.nu/edqp
  Replies (9) Good night (4915) Bad night (1218)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it.... http://tfl.nu/pvzg
  Replies (8) Good night (1081) Bad night (2753)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (610): There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library. http://tfl.nu/m2ex
  Replies (11) Good night (4149) Bad night (1092)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick http://tfl.nu/q9ek
  Replies (10) Good night (4611) Bad night (993)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important. http://tfl.nu/wfir
  Replies (6) Good night (1431) Bad night (1224)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?

  (1-707): View more from California

  yeah, you wanna come?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store? (1-707): yeah, you wanna come? http://tfl.nu/465p
  Replies (9) Good night (1791) Bad night (727)
• Favorite

  (949): View more from California

  So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (949): So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right? http://tfl.nu/9g1d
  Replies (13) Good night (1518) Bad night (1046)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (850): apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work http://tfl.nu/utr1
  Replies (10) Good night (1172) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (219): View more from Indiana

  My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (219): My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle. http://tfl.nu/g4yj
  Replies (11) Good night (1714) Bad night (697)
• Favorite

  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (405): Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day! http://tfl.nu/qmk0
  Replies (0) Good night (388) Bad night (352)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it http://tfl.nu/3v7q
  Replies (0) Good night (331) Bad night (155)

Randomize