I wish I could punch you in the face.
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him