Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.

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  (313): Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone. http://tfl.nu/vfbd
  Replies (40) Good night (14227) Bad night (1564)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  I wanna passion pit in your ass

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  (386): I wanna passion pit in your ass http://tfl.nu/pjsj
  Replies (27) Good night (700) Bad night (1767)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?

  (516): View more from New York

  one can only hope.

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  (732): I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves? (516): one can only hope. http://tfl.nu/2jko
  Replies (33) Good night (5421) Bad night (674)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.

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  (770): Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird. http://tfl.nu/gky6
  Replies (23) Good night (492) Bad night (4264)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?

  (1-407): View more from Florida

  I hate you

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  (407): Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face? (1-407): I hate you http://tfl.nu/nn9u
  Replies (30) Good night (1047) Bad night (6557)
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  (580): View more from Oklahoma

  I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.

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  (580): I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence. http://tfl.nu/vucu
  Replies (18) Good night (6753) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (951): View more from California

  So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.

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  (951): So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked. http://tfl.nu/qprr
  Replies (22) Good night (6982) Bad night (1542)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.

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  (410): i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break. http://tfl.nu/ccu2
  Replies (7) Good night (964) Bad night (3387)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.

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  (519): I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle. http://tfl.nu/aifz
  Replies (11) Good night (3756) Bad night (2015)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.

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  (630): Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week. http://tfl.nu/dxsu
  Replies (5) Good night (2997) Bad night (1472)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.

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  (612): he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers. http://tfl.nu/asbc
  Replies (4) Good night (2492) Bad night (1074)
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  (716): View more from New York

  just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night

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  (716): just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night http://tfl.nu/yn86
  Replies (11) Good night (3841) Bad night (1250)
• Favorite

  (631): View more from New York

  Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.

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  (631): Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down. http://tfl.nu/0h9y
  Replies (4) Good night (1990) Bad night (430)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?

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  (919): I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent? http://tfl.nu/tgod
  Replies (3) Good night (832) Bad night (332)
• Favorite

  (312): View more from Illinois

  I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in

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  (312): I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in http://tfl.nu/almk
  Replies (7) Good night (481) Bad night (271)

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