his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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