Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry

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(919): Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry http://tfl.nu/e19m

Replies (7) Good night (1000) Bad night (2199)
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(803): View more from South Carolina

I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.

(803): View more from South Carolina

I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops

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(803): I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me. (803): I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops http://tfl.nu/kudg

Replies (6) Good night (4107) Bad night (729)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would

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(405): i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would http://tfl.nu/ua94

Replies (7) Good night (3819) Bad night (844)
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(404): View more from Georgia

His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.

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(404): His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me. http://tfl.nu/ej9i

Replies (17) Good night (6656) Bad night (1075)
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(806): View more from Texas

Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.

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(806): Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this. http://tfl.nu/yv7f

Replies (3) Good night (695) Bad night (1884)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.

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(507): Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up. http://tfl.nu/yb0n

Replies (9) Good night (869) Bad night (2146)
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(865): View more from Tennessee

She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.

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(865): She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise. http://tfl.nu/2xsu

Replies (10) Good night (756) Bad night (1414)
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(515): View more from Iowa

So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?

(1-515): View more from Iowa

Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....

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(515): So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night? (1-515): Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something .... http://tfl.nu/8iom

Replies (10) Good night (2266) Bad night (573)
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(813): View more from Florida

Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.

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(813): Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it. http://tfl.nu/c8t4

Replies (13) Good night (2265) Bad night (537)
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(479): View more from Arkansas

That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!

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(479): That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?! http://tfl.nu/832w

Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (736)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time

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(403): I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time http://tfl.nu/5di6

Replies (5) Good night (587) Bad night (428)
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(714): View more from California

But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?

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(714): But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax? http://tfl.nu/2c3b

Replies (12) Good night (873) Bad night (422)
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(716): View more from New York

Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.

(269): View more from Michigan

That should be the title of my autobiography.

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(716): Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass. (269): That should be the title of my autobiography. http://tfl.nu/pdg7

Replies (3) Good night (1070) Bad night (386)
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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.

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(603): I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty. http://tfl.nu/jo6d

Replies (5) Good night (378) Bad night (751)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.

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(732): I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday. http://tfl.nu/s28n

Replies (0) Good night (546) Bad night (209)

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