Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny

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  (516): you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny http://tfl.nu/9x6z
  Replies (9) Good night (629) Bad night (3013)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.

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  (816): I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life. http://tfl.nu/o7kz
  Replies (14) Good night (4651) Bad night (642)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off

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  (215): the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off http://tfl.nu/gmrh
  Replies (17) Good night (5560) Bad night (1331)
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  (714): View more from California

  I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?

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  (714): I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him? http://tfl.nu/ybyr
  Replies (18) Good night (3796) Bad night (1274)
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  (+82): View more from South Korea

  You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.

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  (+82): You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes. http://tfl.nu/6vdw
  Replies (7) Good night (5463) Bad night (1139)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.

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  (318): the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese. http://tfl.nu/xs1m
  Replies (7) Good night (3474) Bad night (895)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.

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  (225): Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe. http://tfl.nu/nl8k
  Replies (5) Good night (1952) Bad night (1046)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.

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  (801): He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up. http://tfl.nu/2vsu
  Replies (4) Good night (2929) Bad night (1014)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".

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  (604): You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him". http://tfl.nu/d338
  Replies (5) Good night (2277) Bad night (624)
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  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.

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  (225): Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it. http://tfl.nu/q6wi
  Replies (9) Good night (1452) Bad night (431)
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  (518): View more from New York

  The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?

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  (518): The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right? http://tfl.nu/fa38
  Replies (8) Good night (1130) Bad night (477)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.

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  (812): Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down. http://tfl.nu/9hkg
  Replies (7) Good night (995) Bad night (464)
• Favorite

  (775): View more from Nevada

  Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf

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  (775): Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf http://tfl.nu/s6jl
  Replies (6) Good night (341) Bad night (812)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.

  (404): View more from Georgia

  STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!

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  (912): Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles. (404): STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!! http://tfl.nu/hvx1
  Replies (19) Good night (3266) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself

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  (760): dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself http://tfl.nu/8oqh
  Replies (2) Good night (234) Bad night (608)

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