Texts From Last Night

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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business

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  (610): jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business http://tfl.nu/wkq5
  Replies (2) Good night (1505) Bad night (489)
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  (386): View more from Florida

  after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.

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  (386): after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time. http://tfl.nu/767v
  Replies (59) Good night (36434) Bad night (1260)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?

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  (214): hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming? http://tfl.nu/vu51
  Replies (12) Good night (6025) Bad night (1216)
• Favorite

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.

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  (919): So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee. http://tfl.nu/sup3
  Replies (16) Good night (4940) Bad night (1171)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.

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  (207): I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots. http://tfl.nu/eygf
  Replies (5) Good night (3469) Bad night (1157)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place

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  (360): im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place http://tfl.nu/ws4h
  Replies (5) Good night (873) Bad night (2977)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me

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  (+44): The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me http://tfl.nu/123e
  Replies (6) Good night (1249) Bad night (2993)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever

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  (847): I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever http://tfl.nu/aala
  Replies (8) Good night (2715) Bad night (1066)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.

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  (401): All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well. http://tfl.nu/04zy
  Replies (5) Good night (1386) Bad night (640)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.

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  (661): I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head. http://tfl.nu/035n
  Replies (6) Good night (2637) Bad night (847)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.

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  (610): I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it. http://tfl.nu/ip0c
  Replies (6) Good night (1943) Bad night (765)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone

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  (647): Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone http://tfl.nu/g67v
  Replies (8) Good night (2566) Bad night (736)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?

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  (479): I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense? http://tfl.nu/pnqf
  Replies (3) Good night (971) Bad night (439)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Marry him now.

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  (330): And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain (330): Marry him now. http://tfl.nu/1169
  Replies (6) Good night (1242) Bad night (460)
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.

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  (843): She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative. http://tfl.nu/fw1n
  Replies (1) Good night (339) Bad night (542)

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