I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
These 17 Delivery Dudes Suck At Their Jobs But Are Winning At Life
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed