Texts From Last Night

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  (818): View more from California

  lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy

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  (818): lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy http://tfl.nu/lvli
  Replies (20) Good night (954) Bad night (3580)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry

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  (252): U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry http://tfl.nu/sko0
  Replies (41) Good night (4014) Bad night (1616)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.

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  (918): My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost. http://tfl.nu/50uv
  Replies (32) Good night (941) Bad night (3113)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.

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  (814): Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside. http://tfl.nu/psku
  Replies (10) Good night (1444) Bad night (3777)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.

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  (513): The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk. http://tfl.nu/ersv
  Replies (2) Good night (3740) Bad night (920)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...

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  (630): Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know... http://tfl.nu/4kg9
  Replies (7) Good night (1485) Bad night (1988)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs

  (310): View more from California

  Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?

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  (310): Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs (310): Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor? http://tfl.nu/gbsd
  Replies (6) Good night (3928) Bad night (1268)
• Favorite

  (310): View more from California

  Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor

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  (310): Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor http://tfl.nu/gni2
  Replies (7) Good night (670) Bad night (1073)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.

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  (214): I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be. http://tfl.nu/287t
  Replies (4) Good night (1521) Bad night (599)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.

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  (512): Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America. http://tfl.nu/xibs
  Replies (1) Good night (1971) Bad night (503)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka

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  (732): I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka http://tfl.nu/793g
  Replies (4) Good night (676) Bad night (437)
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  (810): View more from Michigan

  Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.

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  (810): Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am. http://tfl.nu/2nux
  Replies (2) Good night (435) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions

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  (248): This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions http://tfl.nu/bezn
  Replies (0) Good night (561) Bad night (454)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.

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  (704): I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job. http://tfl.nu/fsl0
  Replies (1) Good night (562) Bad night (306)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Come to this bar

  (1-512): View more from Texas

  But I'm full of food.

  (512): View more from Texas

  MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK

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  (512): Come to this bar (1-512): But I'm full of food. (512): MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK http://tfl.nu/hxr0
  Replies (3) Good night (804) Bad night (145)

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