I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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