why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
