I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
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