It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
