why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Randomize
