Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I think I died a long time ago.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
