you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize