dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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