I'm lost and stupid without you.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
