my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
You did what with his pubic hair?
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