I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
