My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize