Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize