I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
