and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
We were destined to go to rehab together
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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