And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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