I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
P.S. I can't hear my feet
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
