You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
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