i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
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