Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
No...this little piggys going to the bar
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My feet surprised me
Congratulations! We have a period
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
