you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Randomize
