you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
