What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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