What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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