A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
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I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
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Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
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