she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
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I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
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I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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