I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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