ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
