VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Randomize
