He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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