Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
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