Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
And then he peed in my hair
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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